My Postpartum Story: Jojo’s Story of Transformation
From Bump to Baby - What I wish I knew about postpartum
I daydreamed about what it would be like to meet our baby, to hold her, to begin this new chapter.
But the truth is, postpartum wasn’t a chapter - it was a whole new book!
I gave birth to my daughter Moara, I became a mother overnight. But I wasn’t instantly transformed. I was still me, just suddenly responsible for a tiny human, while also recovering from the biggest physical and emotional shift of my life. It was beautiful, yes - but it was also chaotic, leaky, raw and overwhelming.
In the early days after giving birth, time bent in strange ways. Days bled into nights. I lived in a cycle of feeding, burping, changing, pumping, trying to sleep, and wondering if I was doing anything right. My body ached in places I didn’t know could ache. I cried for reasons that didn’t always make sense and sometimes for reasons that did. I felt immense love. I felt fear. I felt like I was both breaking and building something new.
No one told me how intense the early days would feel.
Not just physically, with the healing and the sleep deprivation but emotionally. Even someone just asking “what do you want me to do?” sets me off. You can feel so loved and so lonely at the same time. So proud and so unsure. I wish I’d known that having all those feelings is completely normal. That crying in the shower doesn’t mean you’re not coping, it means you’re human, and your body and soul are adjusting to something massive.
I wish someone had told me that postpartum is not just about recovery, it’s a complete unraveling and reassembling of yourself. You’re learning to feed a baby while figuring out how to feed yourself. You’re sore, sleep deprived and constantly questioning if you’re doing it “right.” Your hormones don’t just dip, they crash like waves.
What helped?
Talking. Sharing stories, the ugly and the beautiful. Not “you’ve got this, mama!” pep talks but honest conversations about bleeding nipples, intrusive thoughts and laughing one minute only to cry the next. The kind of sharing that says, me too instead of you should.
So here I am, offering my story. Not as advice, but as a hand reached out. If you’re in the thick of it, just know you’re not broken. You’re becoming. And you are not alone.
If I could go back and give myself some advice before postpartum, it would be this:
That your baby doesn’t need a perfect mum - just you, showing up, even tired and unsure.
That the love might take time to settle in and that’s okay.
It’s possible to feel deeply grateful and still miss your old life.
Accept help. Let people help you. Let go of the idea that you need to do everything yourself.
Take photos - even if you feel like a zombie. One day, you’ll look back and be in awe of how far you’ve come.
If breastfeeding is hard (and it probably will be), you’re not doing it wrong. It’s just hard.
And most importantly, you are doing enough - even on the days you feel like you aren’t. Rest is productive.
What I’ve learned is that postpartum is a transformation, not a recovery.
You don’t bounce back - you grow through.
And growth is rarely clean or graceful.
It’s messy, it’s painful, it’s beautiful.
Jojo, wonderful 1-st time mum to Moara.
The Transformation that Jojo describes is real. It’s called Matrescence - the process of becoming a mum, encompassing physical, psychological, emotional, relational and identity changes.
You can read more about this in the following articles:
My Postpartum Stories shares real-life experiences of real mums. Postpartum happens behind closed doors and many first-time mums don’t know what to expect and what is normal and what is not. Hence, postpartum often becomes very isolated with many questions and self-doubts.
My Postpartum Stories aims to shed light on the postpartum period so that, especially first-time mum’s, don’t have to go into it blind. My Postpartum Stories is here so new mums can learn from each other and hopefully connect through the stories to feel less isolated in their early motherhood journey.
Do you want to share your postpartum story? I would love to hear from you. Please reach out to damaris@mumsoasis.com
(Stories can also be kept anonymous and don’t have to include a picture.)
